So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize