we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
