There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
