I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
