Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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