Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
