therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
