I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
