Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
