I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We are all done wearing pants today
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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