i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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