Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
