It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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