I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
