Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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