Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
