why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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