just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
