i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
