no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
