You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wear drunk well.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
