I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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