What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im holly from the hills drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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