i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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