They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
