I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize