Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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