they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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