is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
