Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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