Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the day after is always just damage control
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
