i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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