Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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