Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
