I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
