I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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