I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
