Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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