If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
