who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
