Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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