i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
