Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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