I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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