i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
