Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
