He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
