I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
