The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
