I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
