singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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