i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
