you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize