He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
