At least make sure they are 18
Why
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
