You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
