im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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