I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize