y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
