I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
