maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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