Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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