Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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